Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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