The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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