do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
