Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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