I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize