I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you would pick up someone in the library
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
