jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think a kid would responsible me up
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Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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