All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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