Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
