so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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