I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
A+ Viking dick
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