right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
