Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
