I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
