no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
