I got chris browned last night
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
