He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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