My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
