well you can't waste a boner
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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