is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
