hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
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Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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