3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
