Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
