Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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