didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
