She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
