Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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