so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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