Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Is it penis luge time yet?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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