But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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