Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
