Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
