My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
