I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
