wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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