I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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