I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
