I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
