Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
