Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
