are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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