Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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