ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
