I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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