So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i think i have herpe
just one?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
