It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
