I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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