Apparently you make a good broom.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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