Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My dick has a subreddit
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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