"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
