Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
