i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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