Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
