my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
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If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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