Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
