Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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