so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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