I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
