Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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