Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
