i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
