so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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